


Come Back

by privateuytrewiuytrew124



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Canon Compliant, Casey/Severide if you squint, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Kelly needs therapy, Protective Matthew Casey, why do the writers make him suffer so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28909845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/privateuytrewiuytrew124/pseuds/privateuytrewiuytrew124
Summary: Kelly mumbled something incoherent as Matt tucked the blanket around his shoulder --the heaviest one he could find, hidden in the back of the linen closet-- but the word ‘stay’ made it out of the jumbled mass.So Matt did. Even though he was certain Kelly hadn’t been talking to him, not really. He settled in one of the folding chairs, wincing at the feel of the frozen plastic against his legs, and waited. Kelly mumbled occasionally in his sleep, half-formed words and broken sentences. Shay’s name pressed passed his lips more than once, and one quiet, desperate, “Andy”
Relationships: Kelly Severide & Leslie Shay, Matthew Casey/Kelly Severide
Comments: 6
Kudos: 38





	Come Back

It’s times like these when Matt misses Shay the most. When Kelly goes quiet and his blue eyes shine bright with anger. When getting a word past his lips is like pulling a tooth. She was the only person Kelly had ever felt the need to explain himself to, even Darden hadn’t always been able to get him to open up, and now she was gone, too, and it was just Matt left to worry at the walls Kelly had built around himself. Maybe it was wrong for Matt to want her here for Kelly’s sake, but the two of them were so intertwined in his mind that he couldn’t imagine it any other way. 

Except now he didn’t have to imagine it, none of them did. 

And maybe that’s why no one pressed too hard when Kelly came into Molly’s already a little too bright-eyed. Or when he fell asleep on the Squad table in 30 degree weather, head pillowed on his arms. It hurt too much to think about the  _ why _ of his actions. The pressing loss behind his late nights and reckless behavior. Matt went to wake him up, lips pressed into a worried line, but Chief just shook his head.

“Get him a blanket.”

Kelly mumbled something incoherent as Matt tucked the blanket around his shoulder --the heaviest one he could find, hidden in the back of the linen closet-- but the word ‘stay’ made it out of the jumbled mass. 

So Matt did. Even though he was certain Kelly hadn’t been talking to him, not really. He settled in one of the folding chairs, wincing at the feel of the frozen plastic against his legs, and waited. Kelly mumbled occasionally in his sleep, half-formed words and broken sentences. Shay’s name pressed passed his lips more than once, and one quiet, desperate, “Andy”

Matt had the sudden urge to cry. 

It was quiet on the floor, which wasn’t exactly surprising. It was late, and freezing. Anyone in their right mind would be inside. But Matt couldn’t bring himself to leave Kelly there alone, not when he looked so small. Kelly's hands curled and uncurled around the blanket reflexively, and his brow was furrowed tensely. Matt wondered if Kelly had gotten a good night’s sleep since Shay died. He’d gone through a bout of insomnia after losing Andy, Matt had seen him up at all hours --but then again, Matt had been up too. They hadn’t been close enough then for him to say anything about it, too many harsh words and sharp-edged memories pressing between them. 

They were now, but Matt still couldn’t find the words. 

So he sat. And watched his friend. And prayed to anyone who was listening that Kelly would stop losing the people he loved. One person can only take so much. 

The bleary look in Kelly’s eyes when he awoke some time later gave Matt enough time to adjust his own gaze so Kelly wouldn’t realize he’d been staring at him. 

“What --” Kelly rubbed a hand across his face before pulling the blanket more tightly around himself. “Where’d this come from?”

“Supply closet.” 

Matt waited for Kelly to get up, or maybe for him to remind Matt that he wasn’t allowed at the Squad table, but Kelly just sank back in his chair. There was a peculiar look on his face, like he wanted to smile but his lips had forgotten how.  He huffed out a breath, opened and closed his mouth. Finally said, “Shay would always toss blankets on me when I fell asleep on the couch.”

Matt couldn’t remember the last time Kelly had willingly brought up Shay. It felt dangerous to speak, like Matt might spook him by so much as breathing, but it was hard to stay silent with that look on Kelly’s face. Especially when he was burrowed into a blanket, cheeks red and teeth chattering. 

“Is it so hard for you to just use a bed?”

“We all have our flaws.”

“And yours is an aversion to being comfortable?”

Kelly’s lips finally cracked into a bare smile. It was hard these days to know what would set him off. What would have him staring with that unimpressed look he’d perfected years ago, the one that left you wanting to sink into the floor -- Kelly had always been someone that people wanted to impress. 

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” He said with a stiff shrug. The cold was leaving them both frozen. “Long night, I guess.”

Matt opened his mouth to ask if Kelly needed anything, if he was okay, if he could see how much damage those long nights were doing to him, but Kelly pushed himself to his feet suddenly enough to startle Matt. There was something in his eyes that said he knew where the conversation was headed, something that begged Matt to leave it alone.

“We’re going to freeze to death out here,” Kelly said. “Let’s go.” So Matt stood up. He was sore from sitting so long and cold enough that it hurt to move his legs too quickly. Kelly shrugged the blanket off of his shoulders and tossed it around Matt in a quick motion. “You didn’t have to stay out here with me, you know.” 

“Yeah,” Matt said, curling the blanket around himself. It smelled like Kelly’s cologne, and it was warm from the heat of his body. Kelly had always run hot, physically and emotionally. “I did.” 


End file.
